Disclaimer of the Moment

Push with thumb, insert straw. PLEASE DO NOT ABUSE EQUIPMENT! Not recommended for children under twelve years of age, adults, senior citizens, animals, insects, plants, or dead people. Not affiliated with the Red Cross. Parental advisory -- explicit lyrics -- text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Non-fatal if swallowed. Contents may settle during shipment. For off-road use only; they'd be nuts to let these loose on the streets. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Take care: new non-slip surface. Event begins at noon, weather permitting. Not a life saving device. If you do not know where your butt is, please use a mirror or consult with your doctor. Participating United Way Affiliate Agency. No names were harmed in the writing of this article. Portions of the program not affecting the outcome have been edited. These are wild animals, please remain in your car for your own safety.

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